Mis Vida...Ah Chico...

Ok so I have had about enough A-rod let's add one more reason to the list, already a million and a half long, to why we hate him. He is a whine ass little baby. So you cheated and the better team one, and they don't think you are fit to be a fucking Yankee. Guess what asshole, they are right. Get over it, a few of the sox have thrown some comments your way and from what I have seen they were all well deserved. Anyways on to more pressing issues. College shit in by Monday, new camera card, finish planning Italy trip, tons upon tons of homework, oh and the list goes on and on. But hey I guess this is life, and right now I have the energy to do it. Shit, I have an appointment in the morning and then the station and another appointment then it is homework and off to Burlington to watch my Brian play hockey. Then it is a night with the Essex crew for which I will probably pay all day Saturday but oh well I will deal. Holy hell there is so much it is like the hits just keep coming, but it is ok cause I keep on swinging. Again with the baseball talk. Well I need something, with Hockey season a big no go and football season satisfying but over I need sports!!! And exhibition games are just six days away!!!! Andy and I still seem to be doing quite well, but I don't really trust it. But then again what do I really trust? We will have to see. He has the amazing ability to have wondrous timing, just when I am on the verge of giving up there he is never fails. Oh boy. And my mom driving me nuts, bill seems to have more effectively become a piece of the scenery. I didn't actually think that was possible but he has defied the odds and managed it. Brian moves out like next week and oh life. Well really gonna go maybe see if I am tired yet read some who knows, I have finished all my books though so I'm not sure what it is I am going to read well we shall find something I'm sure. I leave you with the parting terms. A-ROD GROW UP AND GET OVER IT YOU'RE A CHEATER AND YOU SUCK! YOU DON'T DESERVE THE CURSED PINSTRIPES JACKASS!

So it appears that I am hypermanic, and in turn that means what... My mind is racing, I do not need to sleep, or eat and I am a bitch. Actually usually that last part is true but I do not seem to be unduly irritable which is good. I miss Andy, and I am planning my trip to Italy to start from NYC so that I can see him for a few days. This whole trying to make relationships work while in different states, well it sucks a lot of balls actually. I wonder though if perhaps this one might not just make it there seems to be a higher commitment level to at least talking and communicating which is nice. Although the tough part is how new it all is and well blah. I took three percocets and a vicodin today to try and slow my damn head down, but it didn't really work. It slowed me down and I laid down for a bit but I still couldn't sleep my head still was tweakin'. I am aside from all of this doing pretty good, and I think that life is looking up. I am finishing up all the transfer crap to head off to real school again in August and I am ready to start my life. I'm a little bit apprehensive, nervous if you will but no longer terrified and this is awesome. I even have a level of excitement. Sigh. I just wish there was more to do now, I'm bored and cold, I friging hate Vermont jesus christ. I want to go tanning but alas I have not transportation. Blah. Maybe I can go in the AM. Who knows though perhaps I will be able to sleep tonight, although I seriously doubt it. Well I gotta pee and get more water and perhaps smoke a cig so I am off but I appear to be getting slightly better at this whole writing thing it's good. It actually seems that I am getting better at being organized, slightly, and doing things in a timely manner which is definitely way cool. That means no more late or non existant homework and less stress mor free time as a whole it is good news. Well for real this time I'm gonna run.

I used to truly think that Valentines day was only good for gory stories about the massacre. I have moved on a bit, I still think it is a useless made up holiday that was created by the hallmark industry as a ploy to bring in yet more money. I am however a little less bitter and a lot more in like, serious like. Andy and I have indeed kept in wonderful contact, and I see him pretty often so perhaps there is indeed some optimism to be shared. Not to say I am gung ho or forgetting the past just saying there are possibilities. He called today and we talked, I love talking to him and right now I would give anything to be wrapped up in his arms. There is just something about him I feel safe when I'm with him. Oh jesus look what has happened, I sound all warm and mushy. I might just vomit. Just kidding but it is a big change for me although I know I have always been a hopeless romantic at heart and I am currently having big time marriage envy I'm running out of time to find that one. TOM BRADY! Hell yeah. I need a sports star/hero. He is and he is sooooo very hot. But then realistically speaking aw who the hell am I kidding I will have one. I really just love the athletic ones it is true it also helps if they are kinda pretty, which Mr. Brady most definitely is. Well I am babbling, and I fear bed time has come. I am off, I will make all attempts possible to write again soon.

Well the Red Sox are still phenomenal. Boston sports are falling into place and so is my life. I am getting my license back soon, I am headed back to school, and I am happy perhaps even slightly more sane. I am getting shit together, and it sure took long enough. I have the energy again to do all the things I love to do, working, and the radio and school, and it doesn't all seem so damn overwhelming anymore. My boss is an ass but hey such is life. Also there is Andy, I don't really know exactly what we are doing or not doing but I like it. He is great and well I enjoy seeing what happens. I'm really loving life right now and I am truly ready and much less frightened to go and live it. It seems like so long ago I was the scared, psychotic little girl that was crawling into a corner and dying. I have made leaps and bounds since then and it has only been like a year. Shit. I love this new, no wait, old me. I am back y'all and I am ready to shine so back the fuck up, get out of my way cause here I come. I am even starting to model again. Wow... I am Tanya again and I'm so psyched. So while Boston may implode because they don't know what to do with all the titles I am going to explode onto the world and make my mark, I guarantee it'll be a big one. Now if only the Damn NHL could get their shit together so the Bruins could win a Stanley cup then my year would really be complete! Loving Life, I'll try to remember to come back and talk at you soon. Also must remember to plan the trip to Italy, and get that damn UVM transcript!