Mis Vida...Ah Chico...

I officially have absolutely no trust or respect for the male gender. Well there are a couple of exceptions to that rule...my daddy, wade, my little brother, brian yeah I think thats it. I hate the fact that I thought there were nice boys in the world, because it just isnt true. I fooled myself into thinling that it was and well it's not. The ones you think are nice will pretty much break your heart just like the rest. At least when you go into it thinking they are assholes there are no surprises. So from now on I will just assume that guys are dicks because I have yet to be wrong. Well at least the guys I am interested in they suck. Maybe when I go to school I will meet someone who doesnt blow. Because I figure that if they are in school and a good bit older than i am then they will have a maturity level above that of an 8 year old which is much more than i can say for the guess i have fallen for in the past. Yeah that's right you are immature scared little boys and I am sooooooo over it. You and all the bullshit I'm over it. Now all I need is the closure of telling you i never want to see you again and to leave me the hell alone forever. That'll probably never happen though, because i am just not that much of a bitch. The tainted ugly feeling that I had in my heart from you has lifted, and i just dont care anymore. It is amazing. I have a scar there from where you hurt me, but it is no longer fresh and painful it is just a memory. Ahhhh... that felt good, amazing in fact. I washed my hands of you. Over, done, finito. Yes it's amazing. And now I am going to run away because then I can stay true to these words. I don;t know exactly what it is about you but you do funny things to my ehad. I say all these things, and when I say them I mean them, but them you waltz back into my world and you turn it upside down, and then I don't know anymore andf I forget what I said and I think that it's different. But it's not, your still the same scared little boy that wants to run away from anything real. Well keep running someday you will see how much you missed out on. But chances are on that day itll be too late to get any of it back itll be to late to live it over. I myself am done with boys, I am ready for a man. Whatever, i don't care. Well that is actually a lie, i care i just won't play anymore. have fun someday I'll see you again and I will be the person I have always dreamed of being, because i am done dreaming i am ready to do it, because i, unlike you, am not scared of the world. I am much more terrified of myself. So in short watch out I am ready to fly. And boys suck throw rocks at them.