Mis Vida...Ah Chico...

So it appears I am officially thought of as Derek and Chad's fucking ho. Granted I have done many things that could lead them to this thought, but it is not the case. I am not, and refuse to be their ho. I am done with the both of them. After the "Frisbee" comment I learned of I really took a long gander at what I was doing and realized it was dumb. I was acting like well a ho. That's not who I am, and I am done making people think that it is. I will do my thing, and who knows where that will take me, but I am not gonna be a ho. I am not gonna play the games, and I most definitely am not going to let myself continually get hurt by stupid stupid boys. Not to say I don't have feelings for well both of them, but I'm DONE!!! To compare and contrast, just for arguments sake, the things I love about Derek: He is funny, he plays the guitar, he is very attractive, he likes sports, he smells amazing, he has the capability of being very tender and very sweet, he sings Sheryl Crow with me, bond, he owns a motorcycle and leather pants, he always looks very put together, he is an amazing kisser, and oh man the best lay ever. And Chad: he makes me laugh, he is very comfortable with himself, he seems to have his priority's straight, he doesn't bullshit, he tells it like he sees it, he is respectful of my opinions, he doesn't blow me off, he does what he says he's gonna do, um he's also quite attractive, also kisses well. Well there we go the boys, the boys I am done fucking around with no less. I miss my Russell like no ones business, but I am a dumb ass and I so royally fucked that up. Whatever it is time to move on, put my life in order and find someone who is ready for commitment and not deathly afraid of the prospect of something real. I just want someone to love me.