Mis Vida...Ah Chico...

I have noticed that more and more time is lapsing in between when I write... I think this may be partially because I am busy, and partially because I have given up caring. I am so very over the stupidness that is the world. I figure I can be happy without all the dumbness so I am working hard to cut it out of my life. Maybe this is why I feel so alone, I hate it; the alonness, but I fear that the stupidity will drive me crazy. So I am gonna make it through summer semester, and then I am going to run away. I am, as I may have already said,gonna go to Missouri and just be happy, tranquil, and calm. And there is only one man who can guarantee all those things for me. I don't need all the stupid little boys that come in and out of my life, but I will always need my papa. In fact I am done with stupid little boys, one in particular no more no more, anything. I don't want anything to do with him (for now). We will see how long that lasts. But I have been really really good at steering clear and not having anything to do with him, so I think it may be for real this time. Maybe it is because I finally realized that the nice guy thing was just an act and he really is an asshole, not to mention a playa and a half. Oh well you can't always read 'em right... I will give him credit though for being such an amazing actor, because normally I am really good at figuring people out. I think that is why it took me so long to come to the asshole conclusion. It wasn't because I didn't notice, but more because I didn't want to admit that I made a mistake in falling for him... Yup it's out there I fell for him and I really shouldn't have. Anyways, apparently time is the answer and with time the open wounds will heal and I will have memories that are pleasant left. I am skeptical of this theory but we shall see. I imagine the wounds will become less acutely painful but the scars will remain forever marring my aura. Thanks asshole you marred my aura.