Mis Vida...Ah Chico...

Today I am slightly more at peace with the world...bad things happen as I'm sure you all know. And also good things happen but if we spend too much time focusing on the bad then good things will go unnoticed and depression and utter miserableness will come of it and what's the fun in that. Today I learned that my step-brother Ryan probably has leukemia, at first I was in shock and I cried...but then I realized...although I am still sad and scared, that these tears would do nothing for him or me. Instead I must be proactive I will do all I can to help him and no we have not always been extremely close, but he is still a definite part of my family and because of that I will do what it takes to make it ok. My problems of yesterday with all the fruit suddenly seem so trivial no longer am I questioning what to do I have a plan. I will do nothing it is unimportant and I don't need it to be happy. I am the only one who can make myself happy and just realizing that has put me on the path to again finding my peace. Long ago I was at peace with the world, and I think that is when I was the most accepting and understanding--I don't feel that I am judgmental now, but I am sometimes overly stubborn and brash, I feel this has come from years of fighting to be heard and understood. But all that was in the past and now I need to focus on making my future the best it can be. I won't lie and say I wouldn't like to take some fruit a long for the ride, but I don't think that it is ripe enough yet to join me and maybe someday it will be, or maybe it won't but I am done waiting around and killing myself over the immature fruit. It is time to focus on me and what I need and although this may seem cold I am not shutting people out or refusing to help them I am just making myself the number one priority in my life. So in conclusion in the grand scheme of things I am finding my peace. I hang up the towel, I quit, I'm playing no more games. I have found my control, and I refuse to give it back to you. Have fun and maybe someday when you grow up you'll realize what you did and try to fix it, but until that day goodbye.